sobota, 31. januára 2009

Got Any Grapes

Rating:
Category:Other
A duck walks into a bar and asks, "Got any grapes?" The bartender, confused, tells the duck that no, his bar doesn't serve grapes. The duck thanks him and leaves.

The next day, the duck returns and says, "Got any grapes?" Again, the bartender tells him that, no, the bar does not serve grapes, has never served grapes, and, furthermore, will never serve grapes. The duck, a little ruffled, thanks him and leaves.

The next day, the duck returns, but before he can say anything, the bartender begins to yell: ''Listen, duck! This is a bar! We do not serve grapes! If you ever ask for grapes again, I will nail your stupid duck beak to the bar!''

The duck is silent for a moment, and then asks, ''Got any nails?''

Confused, the bartenders says no.

''Good!'' says the duck. ''Got any grapes?''

štvrtok, 29. januára 2009

Think About It

Rating:
Category:Other


- Is there another word for synonym?

- Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all?"

- What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?

- If a parsley farmer is sued can they garnish his wages?

- Would a fly without wings be called a walk?

- Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?

- If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?

- Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?

- If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?

- Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines?

- How do they get deer to cross the road only at those yellow road signs?

streda, 28. januára 2009

Jason Mraz - I'm Yours




jason mraz im yours
Well, you done done me and you bet I felt it
I tried to be chill but your so hot that I melted
I fell right through the cracks, now I'm tryin to get back
before the cool done run out I'll be givin it my best test
and nothin's gonna stop me but divine intervention
I reckon it's again my turn to win some or learn some

But I won't hesitate no more,
no more, it cannot wait
I'm yours

Well open up your mind and see like me
open up your plans and damn you're free
look into your heart and you'll find love love love love
listen to the music of the moment people dance and sing
We're just one big family
And it's our godforsaken right to be loved loved loved loved loved

So, i won't hesitate no more,
no more, it cannot wait i'm sure
there's no need to complicate our time is short
this is our fate
I'm yours

Scooch on over closer, dear
And I will nibble your ear

I've been spendin' way too long checkin' my tongue in the mirror
and bendin' over backwards just to try to see it clearer
But my breath fogged up the glass
and so I drew a new face and I laughed
I guess what I'd be sayin' is there ain't no better reason
to rid yourself of vanities and just go with the seasons
it's what we aim to do
our name is our virtue

But I won't hesitate no more,
no more it cannot wait
I'm yours

Well open up your mind and see like me
open up your plans and damn you're free
look into your heart and you will find that the sky is yours

so please don't, please don't, please don't,
there's no need to complicate,
Cause our time is short
This, this, this is our fate,
I'm yours

It's So True

Rating:
Category:Other

- It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.

- If ignorance is bliss, why aren't more people happy?

- Hard work pays off later. Laziness pays off now!

- When you do a good deed, get a receipt, in case heaven is like the IRS.

- Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.

- I still miss my ex. But my aim is getting better!

- A closed mouth gathers no foot.

- The trouble with life is there's no background music.

utorok, 27. januára 2009

Thoughts On Aging

Rating:
Category:Other

- The aging process could be slowed down if it had to work its way through Congress.

- You're getting old when you're sitting in a rocker and you can't get it started.

- You're getting old when you wake up with that morning-after feeling, and you didn't do anything the night before.

- The cardiologist's diet: if it tastes good, spit it out.

- Doctor to patient: I have good news and bad news: the good news is that you are not a hypochondriac.

- It's hard to be nostalgic when you can't remember anything.

- You know you're getting old when you stop buying green bananas.

- Last Will and Testament: Being of sound mind, I spent all my money.

- When you lean over to pick something up off the floor, you ask yourself if there is anything else you need to do while you are down there.

- You find yourself in the middle of the stairway, and you can't remember if you were downstairs going up or upstairs going down.

nedeľa, 25. januára 2009

Political Corruption

Rating:
Category:Other


At the height of a political corruption trial, the prosecuting attorney attacked a witness. "Isn't it true," he bellowed, "that you accepted five thousand dollars to compromise this case?"

The witness stared out the window as though he hadn't hear the question.

"Isn't it true that you accepted five thousand dollars to compromise this case?" the lawyer repeated

The witness still did not respond.

Finally, the judge leaned over and said, "Sir, please answer the question."

"Oh," the startled witness said, "I thought he was talking to you."

Eye-ear doctor

Rating:
Category:Other
A journalist walks into the hospital and tells the desk nurse, "I want to see the eye-ear doctor."

"There is no such doctor" she tells him. "Perhaps you would like to see someone else?"

"No, I need to see an eye-ear doctor," he says.

"But there is no such doctor," she replies. "We have doctors for the eyes and doctors for the ear, nose and throat, but no eye-ear doctor."

No help. He repeats, "I want to see the eye-ear doctor."

They go around like this for a few minutes and then the nurse says: "Comrade, there is no eye-ear doctor, but if there were one, why would you want to see him?"

"Because," he replies, "I keep hearing one thing and seeing another."

utorok, 20. januára 2009

We will not go down (Song for Gaza)




WE WILL NOT GO DOWN (Song for Gaza)
(Composed by Michael Heart)
Copyright 2009


A blinding flash of white light
Lit up the sky over Gaza tonight
People running for cover
Not knowing whether they’re dead or alive

They came with their tanks and their planes
With ravaging fiery flames
And nothing remains
Just a voice rising up in the smoky haze

We will not go down
In the night, without a fight
You can burn up our mosques and our homes and our schools
But our spirit will never die
We will not go down
In Gaza tonight

Women and children alike
Murdered and massacred night after night
While the so-called leaders of countries afar
Debated on who’s wrong or right

But their powerless words were in vain
And the bombs fell down like acid rain
But through the tears and the blood and the pain
You can still hear that voice through the smoky haze

We will not go down
In the night, without a fight
You can burn up our mosques and our homes and our schools
But our spirit will never die
We will not go down
In Gaza tonight

nedeľa, 18. januára 2009

Policeman joke

Rating:★★★★★
Category:Other
A man was recently flying to New York. He decided to strike up a conversation with his seat mate. "I've got a great policeman joke. Would you like to hear it?"

"I should let you know first that I am a policeman."

"That's okay. I'll tell it really slow!"

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Rating:★★★★★
Category:Other
Aristotle: It is the nature of chickens to cross roads.

Issac Newton: Chickens at rest tend to stay at rest, chickens in motion tend to cross roads.

Albert Einstein: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road moved beneath the chicken depends on your frame of reference.

Werner Heisenberg: We are not sure which side of the road the chicken was on, but it was moving very fast.

Wolfgang Pauli: There already was a chicken on this side of the road.

sobota, 17. januára 2009

Positive drops...


In your life you can do so many wonderful things that you can not even imagine.
Nevertheless, often you´re holding of some sort of certainty.
I ask of you, what you can do the best?
Find out it, and then go along after it, and you work on it and enjoy it.
Let not waste the time nor the energy that you want to do something else, or wish to be completely elsewhere and have another options.
Be aware that you are exactly on the right place at the right time and that you are here for a specific purpose, that you perform your specific work.
Therefore take in this work, in this activity all of you and do it with joy and love.
Don´t speculate!
One  proverb says: "The shoemaker hold your hoof."
Look around yourself, how can be the life fun, not only for you but for all people around you.
You can not hope you become a part of unity if you not give the best of you.
When things going well you  tell: "this will pass over"  and stay firmly on the ground. When you have problems, you tell:"this will also pass over" and you stay firmly on the ground.
 What about if you made of today a holiday and if you try to seen in all the best.
Enjoy the life. To start, you will perceive the beauty of nature. Everywhere around  you can see as beautiful and wonderful is. One beautiful thing leads to another and another and another, until your life becomes a wonderful and joyful.


Have a great weekend everyone!
Hugs to those who need one...
Love & Blessings to all!



V živote môžete robiť toľko úžasných vecí, ktoré si ani nedokážete predstaviť.
Napriek tomu sa často držíte akejsi istoty. Pýtam sa, čo viete robiť najlepšie?
Zistite to, a potom za tým choďte, robte to a tešte sa z toho.
Neplytvajte časom ani energiou tým, že chcete robiť niečo iné, alebo túžite byť úplne inde a mať iné možnosti.
Uvedomte si, že ste presne na tom správnom mieste v správnom čase a že ste tu za určitým účelom, aby ste vykonávali vašu konkrétnu prácu.
Preto vložte do tejto práci, do tejto činnosti všetko čo máte a vykonávajte ju s radosťou a láskou.
Nešpekulujte!
Príslovie hovorí :" šuster drž sa svojho kopyta".
Pozrite sa okolo, aký môže byť život zábavný, a to nielen pre Vás ale pre všetkých naokolo.
Nemôžete dúfať, že sa stanete súčasťou celku, pokiaľ neprispejete tým najlepším čo vo Vás je.
Keď sa Vám bude dariť, povedzte si aj toto prejde a postavte sa pevne na zem.
Keď budete mať problémy, povedzte si aj toto prejde a postavte sa pevne na zem.
Čo keby ste si spravili z dnešného dňa sviatok a videli vo všetkom len to najlepšie. Tešte sa zo života. Začnite tým, že budete vnímať krásu prírody. Všade okolo seba uvidíte aká je nádherná a jedna krásne vec vedie k druhej a ďalšej a ďalšej, až sa Váš život stane úžasným a radostným.

Pekný víkend prajem všetkým!
Objatie tým, ktorí to potrebujú...
 lásku & šťastie všetkým!



piatok, 16. januára 2009

štvrtok, 15. januára 2009

What is life without love?

When you love or when you speak about love
then you know that you are touching a very deep issue.
This issue concerns your life.
It is the most important issue of your life.
Itself, it is your life.
What is life without love?

When reading about love,
you know that you are speaking about the 4 energies.
The Fire, the Air, The Earth, the Water.
Those are the source of love.
Love is your life;
Energy is love,
this means that your energy should be
in the very center of your life.
Do you really know what love is?
Of course, you do know about love.
when you miss your beloved ones;
when you look for some one to love you,
and appreciate you;
when you are alone, sick, poor;
in one word, when you are in need,
you seek love.
Love, in one word, is the cross.
When you suffer for others
you know what love is,
and you feel involuntarily
the energy around you.
The Cross and Love are two symbols
but with the same meaning:
to give your life,
and in doing so,
just in giving it,
you reach the true meaning of your self
and the reason of your existence.
We exist to love and only to love.

The painting let you understand
that love and cross is a unity,
when you are focused on the painting;
that you have to forgive,
to forget the bad things
that others did to you,
that you should love your enemies
and help those who betrayed you,
stole from you and hated you!


part of "Artist's interpretation of the painting"
author of picture:Surya Suryata J.
source:http://www.suryasuryata.com

Čo je život bez lásky?

Keď miluješ, alebo keď rozprávaš o láske
potom vieš, že si sa dotkol veľmi hlbokej otázky.
Tento záležitosť sa dotýka tvojho života.
Je to najdôležitejšia otázka tvojho života.
Samo osebe je tvoj život.
Aký je život bez lásky?


Keď čítaš o láske vieš,
že je reč o štyroch energiách.
Sú to: Oheň, Vzduch, Zem a Voda.
Tie sú zdrojom lásky.
Láska je tvoj život,
energia je láska,
z toho vyplýva, že tvoja energia by mala byť
centrom tvojho života.
 Myslíš si, že naozaj vieš čo je to láska?
Samozrejme, že vieš o láske.
Keď chýbajú ti tvoji drahí,
keď hľadáš  niekoho kto ťa bude milovať,
kto  ocení si ťa,
keď si sám, nemocný, chudobný,
 jedným slovom keď  v núdzi si,
 hľadáš lásku.
Láska jedným slovom je kríž.
Keď trpíš pre iných
ty vieš, čo je to láska,
a  mimochodom cítiš energiu okolo seba.
Kríž a láska sú dva symboly,
 s rovnakým významom:
daná tvojmu životu,
a v dávaní, práve v tom,
 dosiahneš skutočný zmysel seba samého
 dôvod svojej existencie.
My existujeme by sme milovali a len milovali.

Obraz ti umožní pochopiť,
že láska a kríž sú jednota,
zameraný na obraz pochopíš,
že musíš odpustiť,
zabudnúť na zlé veci,
ktoré iní učinili ti,
že svojich nepriateľov by si mal milovať
a pomáhať tým, ktorí ťa zradili ,
okradli a nenávideli ťa!


úryvok z  "Umelcovho opisu obrazu"
autor obrazu:Surya Suryata J.
zdroj: http://www.suryasuryata.com

streda, 14. januára 2009

Michael Bublé - What A Wonderful World




What a wonderful world - Michael Buble

I see skies of blue, clouds of white
The bright blessed day
The dark sacred night
And I think to myself, what a wonderful world

I see trees of green, red roses too
I see them bloom for me and you
and I think to myself, what a wonderful world

The colours of the rainbow, so pretty in the sky
Are also on the faces of people going by
I see friends shakin' hands, sayin' "How do you do?"
They're really saying "I love you"

I hear babies cry, I watch them grow
They'll learn much more than I'll ever know
And I think to myself, what a wonderful world

All the colours of the rainbow, so pretty in the sky
Are also on the faces of people going by
I see friends shakin' hands sayin' "How do you do"
They're really saying "I love you"

I hear babies cry, I watch them grow
They'll learn much more than ill ever know
and I think to myself what a wonderful world
Yes, I think to myself, what a wonderful world

Aký nádherný svet

Vidím modrú oblohu, biele oblaky
jasný požehnaný deň
Tme zasvätenú noc
A myslím si: Aký to nádherný svet

Vidím zelené stromy, červené ruže tiež
Vidím ich kvitnúť pre mňa a pre teba
a myslím si: Aký to nádherný svet
Farby dúhy tak krásne na oblohe
sú tiež na tvárach ľudí idúcich pomimo
priateľov trasúcich si ruky vidím a vraviacích "Ako sa máš?"
v skutočností hovoria: "Mám ťa rád";

Počujem krik deti, sledujem ich rast
naučia sa omnoho viac, ako ja kedy budem znať
a myslím si: Aký to nádherný svet

Všetky farby dúhy tak krásne na oblohe
sú tiež na tvárach ľudí idúcich pomimo
priateľov trasúcich si ruky vidím a vraviacích "Ako sa máš?"
v skutočností hovoria: "Mám ťa rád";

Počujem krik deti, sledujem ich rast
naučia sa omnoho viac, ako ja kedy budem znať
a myslím si: Aký to nádherný svet

Somewhere over the rainbow - Eric clapton




Somewhere Over the Rainbow

Somewhere, over the rainbow, way up high.
There's a land that I heard of Once in a lullaby.
Somewhere, over the rainbow, skies are blue.
And the dreams that you dare to dream
Really do come true.
Someday I'll wish upon a star and wake up where the clouds are far Behind me.
Where troubles melt like lemon drops,
Away above the chimney tops.
That's where you'll find me.
Somewhere, over the rainbow, bluebirds fly.
Birds fly over the rainbow,
Why then - oh, why can't I?
If happy little bluebirds fly beyond the rainbow,
Why, oh, why can't I?

Niekde ponad dúhu

Niekde ponad dúhu, cesta nahor, vysoko.
Tam je krajina o ktorej raz v uspávanke počul som .
Niekde nad dúhu, obloha modrá je .
A sny, ktoré odvážiš sa snívať
Naozaj sa splnia.
Jedného dňa budem chcieť na hviezdu
a prebudiť tam kde mraky sú ďaleko za mnou.
Kde ťažkosti miznú sťa kvapky z citrónu,
preč nad vrcholce komínov.
To je kde nájdete ma.
Niekde nad dúhu, belasé vtáky lietajú.
Vtáky lietajú nad dúhu,
Prečo teda - ó, prečo ja nemôžem?
Ak šťastní modrý vtáci letia ponad dúhu,
Prečo, ach, prečo ja nemôžem?

utorok, 13. januára 2009

When Angels talk


Nobody is courageous all the time.
The unknown is a constant challenge,
and being afraid is part of the journey.
What to do?
Talk to yourself.
Talk alone.
Talk to yourself even if
others think you have gone crazy.
As we talk, an inner force
gives us the security
to overcome the obstacles
that need to be surmounted.
We learn lessons from the defeats
that we are bound to suffer.
And we prepare ourselves
for the many victories
that will be part of our life.
And just between you and me,
those who have this habit
(and I’m one of them)
know that they never talk alone:
the guardian angel is there,
listening and helping us to reflect.


Keď anjeli rozprávajú.

Nikto nie je stále odvážny.
Neznámo je neustála výzva
a mať strach je časťou cesty.
Čo robiť?
Rozprávaj sa sám so sebou.
Rozprávaj  osamotene.
Rozprávaj sa so sebou,
aj keď si ostatní myslia,
že si sa zbláznil.
Keď sa rozprávame,
vnútorná sila nám istotu dáva
pre prekonanie prekážok,
ktoré majú prekonané byť.
My dostávame lekcie z porážok,
ktoré zaviazaní sme znášať.
Pripravujeme sa na mnohé víťazstvá,
ktoré budú súčasťou nášho života.

Iba medzi mnou a tebou ,
tí, ktorí majú tento zvyk vedia,
že oni nikdy nerozprávajú sami.
Strážny anjel je tam,
počúva a pomáha nám to vyjadriť.


autor : Paulo  Coelho,
http://www.warriorofthelight.com

sobota, 10. januára 2009

Inventory of normality



What follows here is a list  of some of the absurd situations we face in day-to-day life, just because society sees them as normal:


1] Anything that makes us forget our true identity and our dreams and makes us only work to produce and reproduce.

2] Making rules for a war (the Geneva Convention).

3] Spending years at university and then not being able to find a job.

4] Working from nine in the morning to five in the afternoon at something that does not give us the least pleasure, so that we can retire after 30 years.

5] Retiring only to discover that we have no more energy to enjoy life, and then dying of boredom after a few years.

6] Using Botox.

7] Trying to be financially successful instead of seeking happiness.

8] Ridiculing those who seek happiness instead of money by calling them “people with no ambition”.

9] Comparing objects like cars, houses and clothes, and defining life according to these comparisons instead of really trying to find out the true reason for being alive.

10] Not talking to strangers. Saying nasty things about our neighbors.

11] Thinking that parents are always right.

12] Getting married, having children and staying together even though the love has gone, claiming that it’s for the sake of the children (who do not seem to be listening to the constant arguments).

13] Criticizing everybody who tries to be different.

14] Waking up with a hysterical alarm-clock at the bedside.

15] Believing absolutely everything that is printed.

16] Wearing a piece of colored cloth wrapped around the neck for no apparent reason and known by the pompous name “necktie”.

17] Never asking direct questions, even though the other person understands what you want to know.

18] Keeping a smile on your face when you really want to cry. And feeling sorry for those who show their own feelings.

19] Thinking that art is worth a fortune, or else that it is worth absolutely nothing.

20] Always despising what was easily gained, because the “necessary sacrifice” – and therefore also the required qualities – are missing.

21] Following fashion, even though it all looks ridiculous and uncomfortable.
 
22] Being convinced that all the famous people have tons of money saved up.

23] Investing a lot in exterior beauty and paying little attention to interior beauty.

24] Using all possible means to show that even though you are a normal person, you are infinitely superior to other human beings.

25] In any kind of public transport, never looking straight into the eyes of the other passengers, as this may be taken for attempting to seduce them.

26] When you enter an elevator, looking straight at the door and pretending you are the only person inside, however crowded it may be.

27] Never laughing out loud in a restaurant, no matter how funny the story is.

28] In the Northern hemisphere, always wearing the clothes that match the season of the year: short sleeves in springtime (however cold it may be) and a woolen jacket in the fall (no matter how warm it is).

29] In the Southern hemisphere, decorating the Christmas tree with cotton wool, even though winter has nothing to do with the birth of Christ.

30] As you grow older, thinking you are the wisest man in the world, even though not always do you have enough life experience to know what is wrong.

31] Going to a charity event and thinking that in this way you have collaborated enough to put an end to all the social inequalities in the world.

32] Eating three times a day, even if you’re not hungry.

33] Believing that the others are always better at everything: they are better-looking, more resourceful, richer and more intelligent.
Since it’s very risky to venture beyond your own limits, it’s better to do nothing.

34] Using the car as a way to feel powerful and in control of the world.

35] Using foul language in traffic.

36] Thinking that everything your child does wrong is the fault of the company he or she is keeping.

37] Marrying the first person who offers you a position in society.Love can wait.

38] Always saying “I tried”, even though you haven’t tried at all.

39] Putting off doing the most interesting things in life until you no longer have the strength to do them.


40] Avoiding depression with massive daily doses of television programs.

41] Believing that it is possible to be sure of everything you have won.

42] Thinking that women don’t like football and that men don’t like interior decoration.

43] Blaming the government for everything bad that happens.

44] Being convinced that being a good, decent and respectful person means that the others will find you weak, vulnerable and easy to manipulate.

45] Being convinced that aggressiveness and discourtesy in treating others are signs of a powerful personality.

46] Being afraid of fibroscopy (men) and childbirth (women).

47] And finally, thinking that your religion is the sole proprietor of the absolute truth, the most important, the best, and that the other human beings in this immense planet who believe in any other manifestation of God are condemned to the fires of hell.

source: http://www.warriorofthelight.com/


Inventúra normálnosti

To čo tu bude nasledovať je zoznam niektorých absurdných situácii, ktorým  denno-denne čelíme v živote iba preto, že to spoločnosť považuje za normálne:


1] Niečo nás núti aby sme zabudli na našu skutočnú identitu a na naše sny a núti nás iba vyrábať a reprodukovať.

2] Vytvorenie pravidiel pre vojnu (Ženevský dohovor).

3] Strávenie rokov na vysokej škole a potom nebyť schopný si nájsť prácu.

4] Pracovať od deviatej hodiny ráno do piatej popoludní na niečom, čo nás ani trocha neteší len preto aby sme mohli po 30 rokoch odísť do dôchodku .

5] Odchodom do dôchodku iba zistíme, že nemáme viac energie k užívaniu si života a potom po niekoľkých rokoch zomierame od  nudy .

6] Používanie Botoxu (prípravok na vyhladzovanie).

7] Namiesto hľadania šťastia sa snažíme byť finančne úspešnými .

8] Zosmiešňovanim tých, ktorí hľadajú šťastie miesto peňazí tým, že ich nazývame "ľuďmi bez ambícií."

9] Porovnávaním predmetov ako sú autá, domy a oblečenie, a definujúc život podľa týchto porovnávaní namiesto aby sme sa snažili zistiť skutočný dôvod pre žitie.

10] Nerozprávanie sa s cudzími ľuďmi. Rozprávajúci nepekné veci o svojích susedoch.

11] Mysliac si, že rodičia majú vždy pravdu.

12] Uzavrieť manželstvo, mať detí a vytrvať spolu aj napriek tomu, že láska odišla. Tvrdiac, že je to v záujme detí (ktoré nezdá sa, že by počúvali tieto opakované tvrdenia).

13] Kritizujúc všetkých, ktorí sa snažia byť iní.

14] Budenie sa hysterickým budíkom na nočnom stolíku.

15], Veriac úplne všetkému čo sa vytlačí.

16] Nosenie kusu farebnej tkaniny známej pod pompéznym názvom "kravata", omotanej okolo krku bez zjavného dôvodu.

17] Nikdy nepožadujúc priame otázky,  napriek tomu, že druhá osoba rozumie čo chcete vedieť.

18] Držanie úsmevu na vašej tvári, keď v skutočností chcete plakať. Ľutovať tých, ktorí prejavia svoje vlastné city.

19] Mysliac si,že umenie je hodné majetok, inak to nemá žiadnu hodnotu.

20] Vždy pohŕdajú tým čo bolo ľahko získané, kvôli "potrebe obetovania"  a preto aj požadované vlastnosti chýbajú.

21] Sledujúci módu, aj keď to všetko vyzerá smiešne a nepohodlné.

22] Súc presvedčení, že všetci slávni ľudia majú množstvu našetrených  peňazí.

23] Investovať mnoho do vonkajšej krásy a venovať málo pozornosti kráse vnútornej.

24] Využívajúc všetkých možných prostriedkov, aby ste ukázali, že  napriek tomu, že ste normálny človek ste nekonečne lepší ako iné ľudské bytosti.

25] Vo všetkých druhov verejnej dopravy, nikdy nehľadia priamo do očí ostatných cestujúcich, akoby to mohlo byť považované za pokus zvádzať ich.

26] Keď vstúpite do výťahu, hľadite priamo na dvere a predstierate, že ste jediná osoba v ňom akokoľvek preplnený môže byť.

27] Nikdy sa nesmeje nahlas v reštaurácii, akokoľvek vtipný príbeh je.

28] V severnej oblastí vždy nosiac na sebe oblečenie, ktoré zodpoveda ročnému období: krátke rukávy na jar (akokoľvek chladno môže byť) a vlnený kabátik na jeseň (bez ohľadu na to ako je teplo).

29] V južných oblastiach, zdobiac vianočné stromy s vatou, aj keď zima nemá nič spoločného s narodením Krista.

30] Ako starnete, myslíte si, že ste najmúdrejší človek na svete, aj keď nie vždy máte dostatok životných skúsenosti poznať čo je zle.

31] Zúčastňujúc sa charitatívnych akcií a mysliac si, že týmto spôsobom ste spolupracoval dostatočne na tom aby sa zastavili všetke sociálne nerovnosti na svete.

32] Jedenie trikrát denne, napriek tomu že nie ste hladný.

33], Domnievajúc sa, že ostatní sú vždy lepší vo všetkom: sú lepšie vyzerajúci, viac vynaliezaví, bohatší a inteligentnejší. Keďže je to veľmi riskantný podnik mimo vašich vlastných hraníc je lepšie nerobiť nič.

34] Používanie auta ako spôsob ako sa cítiť silným a v ovládnutí sveta.

35] Používanie nadávok pri komunikácii.

36] Mysliac si, že všetko čo vaše dieťa urobí zle je vinou spoločnosti, ktorá jeho alebo ju drží.

37] Uzavrieť manželstvo s prvou  osobou, ktorá vám ponúkne pozíciu v spoločnosti.Láska môže počkať.

38], Vždy hovoriac: "Snažil som sa", aj keď ste sa vôbec nesnažil.

39] Odkladajúc urobiť najzaujímavejšie veci v živote, až kým už nemáte silu to urobiť.

40] Vyhýbanie sa depresií s výdatnou dennou dávkou televíznych programov.

41] Byť presvedčený, že je možné si byť istým všetkým čo ste vyhral.

42] Mysliac si, že ženy nemajú radi futbal a že muži nemajú radi interiérové dekorácie.

43] Obviňujúc vládu za všetko zlé, čo sa stane.

44] Súc presvedčení, že byť dobrou, slušnou a zdvorilou osobou znamená, že ostatní vás budú pokladať za slabých, ohrozených  a ľahko manipulovateľných.

45] Súc presvedčený, že agresivita a nezdvorilosť pri zaobchádzaní s inými sú príznakmi silnej osobnosti.

46] Majúci strach pred fibroskopom (muži) a pôrodom (ženy).

47] No a nakoniec mysliac si, že vaše náboženstvo je jediným vlastníkom absolútnej pravdy. O tom čo je najdôležitejšie, najlepšie a že iné ľudské bytosti  tejto veľkej planéty, ktorí veria v akejkoľvek iné prejavy Boha, sú odsúdení k ohňom pekla .

zdroj: http://www.warriorofthelight.com/

piatok, 9. januára 2009

Yesterday, Tommorow and Today



There are two days in every week about which we should not worry.
Two days which should be kept free from fear and apprehension.

One of these days is yesterday with its mistakes and cares,
Its faults and blunders, its aches and pains.
Yesterday has passed forever beyond our control.
All the money in the world cannot bring back yesterday.
We cannot undo a single act we performed.
We cannot erase a single word we said. Yesterday is gone.

The other day we should not worry about is tomorrow.
With its possible adversities, Its burdens,
Its large promise and poor performance.
Tomorrow is also beyond our immediate control.
Tomorrow's Sun will rise, either in splendor or behind a mask of clouds,
but it will rise.
Until it does, we have no stake in tomorrow, for it is yet unborn.
This just leaves only one day . . . Today.

Any person can fight the battles of just one day.
It is only when you and I add the burdens of those two awful eternity's -
yesterday and tomorrow that we break down.
It is not the experience of today that drives people mad.
It is the remorse or bitterness for something which happened yesterday
and the dread of what tomorrow may bring.

Let us therefore live but one day at a time.

Author Unknown

Včerajšok, zajtrajšok a dnešok.

Sú dva dni v každom týždni o ktoré by sme sa nemali strachovať.
Dva dni ktoré by mali byť bez obáv a strachu.

Prvý z týchto dní je včerajšok s chybami a  starosťami.
Jeho chyby a hrubé omyly, jeho bolestí a trápenia
Včerajšok už je navždy mimo nášho ovládania.
Ani všetke peniaze sveta nám už nemôžu vrátiť včerajší deň.
Nemôžeme  zrušiť či zmeniť to čo sme včera urobili.
Nemôžeme vymazať jediné slovo, ktoré sme vyslovili.  Včerajšok je preč.

Ďalší deň, kvôli ktorému by sme si nemali robiť starostí je zajtrajšok.
S jeho možnými protivenstvami a jeho ťarchou.
S jeho veľkými prísľubmi a chabou skutočnosťou.
Zajtrajšok  tiež mimo nášho okamžitého ovládania.
 Slnko zajtra vyjde v svojej plnej nádhere alebo zahalený v maske oblakov,
ale určite vyjde.
Nuž a to tej chvíle, než sa tak stane, netreba naň vsádzať, pretože ešte sa nezrodil.
Tak nám ostáva iba jediný deň . . .a to dnešok.

Každý svoje bitky môže vybojovať iba v tomto dni..
Iba ak vy aj ja si priložíme ťarchu tých strašných nekonečností včerajška a zajtrajška
iba to nás môže zlomiť.
Nie skúsenosť dneška môže spôsobiť šialenstvo.
To  výčitka nebo horkosť niečoho, čo včera sa stalo,
či hrôza z toho, čo zajtrajšok prinesie môže toto spôsobiť. doniesť

Žime preto iba pre terajší dnešný deň.

Autor neznámy

sobota, 3. januára 2009

Smile is healthy


To start a New Year with smile I offer to you  dear friends and visitors
some jokes....

Two Fish


Two men were in a restaurant and ordered fish. The waiter brought a dish with two fish, one larger than the other. One of the men said to the other, "Please help yourself."

The other one said "Okay", and helped himself to the larger fish.

After a tense silence, the first one said, "Really, now, if you had offered me the first choice, I would have taken the smaller fish!"

The other one replied, "What are you complaining for; you have it, don't you?"

Dve ryba

Dvaja muži prišli do reštaurácie a objednali si ryby.  
Čašník im priniesol misu s dvoma rybami.
Jedna bola väčšia ako druhá.
Jeden z nich povedal druhému:  "Prosím si ponuknite sa."
Ten druhý povedal "OK" a zobral si väčšiu rybu.
Nastalo napäté ticho a po chvíli sa ten prvý ohlási:  "Keby ste mi vy teraz ponúkol možnosť prvej voľby ja by som si skutočne vybral menšiu rybu!"
Ten druhý odvetil: " Tak načo sa sťažujete, ,veď máte čo ste chcel. Nie?"

Number of Sheep

An actuary and a farmer were traveling by train. When they passed a flock of sheep in a meadow, the actuary said, "There are 1,248 sheep out there."

The farmer replied, "Amazing. By chance, I know the owner, and the figure is absolutely correct. How did you count them so quickly?"

The actuary answered, "Easy, I just counted the number of legs and divided by four."

Počet oviec

Matematik a farmár cestujú vlakom. Keď vlak prešiel popri stáde oviec pasúcich sa na lúke matematik prehlásil: "Je tam spolu 1 248 oviec."
Farmár odvetil: "To je úžasné. Náhodou, poznám majiteľa tohto stáda a počet, ktorý ste udal je úplne presný. Ako ste ich dokázal tak rýchle spočítať?"
Matematik odpovedal:  "To je ľahké, iba som spočítal počet nôh a výsledok som vydelil štyrmi."

 Advertising

"Good times, bad times, there will always be advertising. In good times people want to advertise; in bad times they have to." -- Bruce Barton

Reklama

"Dobré časy, zlé časy, v tom vždy bude reklama. V dobrých časoch ľudia chcú reklamovať a v zlých zasa musia."  - - Bruce Barton

 Bear Bells

In Alaska's National Forests, a tour guide was giving a talk to a group of tourists about hiking in grizzly bear territory: "Most bear encounters occur when hikers, being extra quiet along the trails in hopes of viewing wildlife, accidentally stumble into bears. The resulting suprise can be catastrophic."

To avoid this, he suggested that each hiker wear tiny bells on their clothing to warn the bears of their presence. "Also," he said further, "be especially cautious when you see signs of bears in the area, especially when you see bear droppings."

One tourist asked, "How do you identify bear droppings?"

"Oh that's easy," the guide explained, "its the ones with all the tiny bells in them!"

Medvedie zvonky

V Aljašskom Národnom parku, cestovný sprievodca vysvetľuje skupine turistov o turistike na území medveďa grizlyho:  
"Väčšina stretnutí s medveďmi sa vyskytuje keď turisti pri chôdzi mimoriadne ticho a v očakávaní sledujú okolitú divočinu a náhodne narazia na medvede.  Následné prekvapenie môže byť katastrofálne."
Aby ste sa tomu vyvarovali navrhujem aby ste si každý pripevnil na svoj odev malý zvonček, aby ste tak upozornili medvede na svoju prítomnosť.
"Tiež "  pokračoval ďalej "musíte byť obzvlášť obozretní ak  uvidíte známky po medveďoch v okolí, najmä ak uvidíte medvedí trus."
Jeden turista sa spýtal: "Pane a ako sa identifikuje medvedí trus?"
"Och! to je ľahké, "  sprievodca vysvetľoval ďalej: "je to  čosi v čom sa nachádzajú malé zvončeky....".

I wish you great and smily first this year weekend!